English essay-
characters:
Katniss from catching fire
Allie from Everlost
essay:
Its
been a few years since Allie got into a car crash with Nick. The
complete strangers are now best friends. As they were going through the
so called "tunnel of light" they bumped into each other and didn't fully
die. Instead they are stuck in a world called Everlost. They came
across enemies and defeated them. They also freed some kids that were
trapped in a tower repeating the same activities. Now that there's no
enemies, Allie and Nick can now do anything they want. They're half-dead
so they can't eat or touch anything that's in the living world. They
could hang out with their friend, Leaf, or make some other friends. They
are recent afterlights (what people of Everlost call themselves) so
they could explore different parts of Everlost if they wanted too. Nick
decided to look for other friends while Allie went exploring on the
coast. No one knows what Everlost is or how its even existing. No one
knows how to escape Everlost to get back to the living world, or how to
fully die. The half-dead souls of this unknown world don't need food or
sleep, instead they need company. Company is their source of energy and
health and everything really. There is one main concern of Everlost
though. Its water. If an afterlight goes in any water source for
example, the ocean, they immediately sink to the bottom and they are
never to be seen again. No one dares to go find them though.
Allie
is a little different from the other afterlights. She has rare skills
like very few of Everlost's people. She can pick up living objects and
control people's bodies. Also known as skinjacking. Allie has long
blonde hair and was only 12 when she got in a car crash with Nick and
half-died, so she is very strong and brave. Allie continued her walk
along the coast and was skimming rocks along the shimmering water. She
looked out at the sea and glanced at the boardwalk with broken-down
rides. The carousel was all rusty and the horses were missing parts.
Some of the gold long spiral poles that went from their heads to the top
of the carousel were broken in half too. You could hear carnival music
playing softly, if you stood close enough. Allie was relieved at the
thought that there was no more enemies to defeat. The only worry she had
was understanding Everlost and what it is. She is now safe and calm and
free to do whatever she wants. Of course this seems too good to be
true, so that's when things went wrong. Before Allie could even blink she
could feel herself tremble into the water. All she felt was the salt
water swishing through her transparent body, and hitting the ground with
such force that knocked her out for a while.
Allie blinked a few times before she regained consciousness The sun was
really bright and for the first time since Allie entered Everlost, she
could feel things. She felt pain in her body and she also felt the damp
clothes rubbing against her skin. The grass flowing through her soft
fingers. Allie felt her heart pounding as loud and strong as possible.
She felt her lungs fill with air and then slowly empty. She was alive.
Her brain was full of so much confusion, exhaustion and concern. She
laid on the green grass for a while with the powerful sun blaring on her
clear skin. Allie didn't care to acknowledge her surroundings until she
was spoken to by a soft girls voice.
"Hello? Are you ok?" said the girl.
Allie sat up with her body still aching. She looked at the girl. She
was tall and looked around 16 or 17. She had long, brown hair tied back
in a braid. She wore a black T-Shirt, long pants, boots, and a jacket
with pockets. She reached her hand out to Allie. Allie, trusting the
girl, grasped her hand and stood up. She almost fell over due to the
gravity she hasn't felt in a long time.
"Hi, I'm Katniss. Are you ok?" she asked again.
Allie finally spoke, "Hi, I'm Allie and yeah im ok i guess."
Allie glanced around the area.
"Where am I?"
"You're in district 12." Katniss stated.
Allie was confused. "what's district 12?"
"District
12. You know, the smallest of the 12 districts. We specialize in coal
and mining. The Capitol chooses people to become tributes for the Hunger
Games, like me." Katniss says.
Allie was speechless. She has no clue what's going on. Allie asks the question,
"The hunger games? What's that?"
Katniss sighs briefly "You're not from here are you. Come. I'll show you around."
Allie
doesn't have much options so she just follows Katniss. They walk around
the district and Allie is introduced to people and is brought into
buildings.
"This district isn't the wealthiest as you can see but we're strong and have good hearts."
Allie just smiles. "Whats that?"
Allie asked pointing to a huge fence.
"Oh
yeah, that. That’s an electrical fence that surrounds the district so
no one can get in or out. But I go over it anyway. I love it in the
woods."
"Oh." says Allie.
There is a short pause.
"How did u get in here?" Katniss adds.
"I honestly don't know. All i remember is waking up to your voice." Allie said. "Oh that's not good..." says Katniss.
They walk to the fence and find a tree that's near it.
"Do you want me to show you around the woods?" asked Katniss.
"Sure. How do we get over?" asked Allie.
Katniss
looks up at the tree grabs a sturdy branch. She pulls herself up and
manages to grab Allies hand and pull her up too. They both climb
opposite of the tree and hop down, getting over the fence easily. They
give each other a high-five and smile.
"I've never climbed a tree before haha" says Allie.
"You
haven't!" Says Katniss shocked. "I've been climbing trees ever since I
was a little girl. My dad taught me actually..." Katniss continues to
talk about her dad and how he died in a coal mining accident. Katniss
brings Allie to the little house that use to be her dads. Its beat up
but cozy and warm. It has a fireplace and a table and chairs. It has a
faint musty smell but they both don't mind at all. Katniss takes some
bread out of her bag and splits it with Allie. Allie eats the bread and
feels it go down her throat and into her stomach. Tasting food felt so
new and good to Allie. She realizes that she can eat now. Allie grins at
the thought. Katniss starts a small fire and then they talk about many
things. About themselves, about life, even the hunger games were
described. Allie was shocked by that. She thought it was cruel what they
do. The house is next to a lake but Allie says she doesn't swim. Shes
just afraid that if she goes in she might die ,sink again and return to
everlost, or something like that. The house has a hook which holds a bow
and arrows. Katniss catches Allie looking at them so she offers to show
her some hunting tips. She goes outside with Allie following her.
"Watch this!" she says with confidence.
Allie
focuses on Katniss's hands and concentration. She takes a deep breath
and pulls back the arrow with the bow. She whistles and a flock of birds
just arose from the ground like something was attacking them. Katniss
aims and releases the arrow into the sky. The sight was amazing. The
green vibrant trees with the sunlight reflecting off the moist leaves.
The smell of woods and birds chirping Allie was amazed when she saw that
the arrow hit not one, but two birds.
Katniss smiled and said "You wanna' try?"
"Sure" said Allie.
There was a target close by, nailed to a tree. Katniss guided Allie and helped her aim.
"Whenever you're ready." said Katniss.
Allie let the arrow go and it flew through the sky and landed right in the center if the target.
Allie was so excited she screamed, "WHOO HOO!!!"
They both laughed and went back inside the small house. Katniss put the
arrows and bow back and grabbed her bag. They walked out of the woods
and got over the fence again.
"That was fun" said Allie.
"It was. I'm usually all alone in there or with my friend Gale, but now I have you." said Katniss.
Katniss
walked to her house and introduced Allie to her mom and little sister
Prim. They were both glad to meet Allie, who looks very similar to Prim.
They talked all night in the living room. Prim french braided Allie's
hair and gave her clean clothes. Katniss helped her mom prepare dinner
and they ate at the table. When night appeared, they were all exhausted.
Allie was offered a bed with clean sheets and a flower designed
comforter.
Allie hugged Katniss and said "Thank you."
"You're very welcome. now get to bed." Katniss replied smiling, turning off her light off, and shutting her and door.
When
it was morning Allie felt amazing. She's never slept in a long time,
being half-dead and all, but now that she's alive she can rest and
dream. The sunlight shone through her window and warmed Allie's skin.
She got up and used the bathroom. There's a lot of things Allie can do
now that shes alive. "Good morning Allie!" says Prim.
"Good morning Prim." They smile and go downstairs still in their pajamas. Katniss is in the kitchen making them breakfast.
"Good Morning Ladies, how would you like your eggs?" says Katniss
"Over easy thank you," says Allie.
"Ok, and Prim, the usual?" asks Katniss.
"Yup" says Prim.
Katniss puts two over easy eggs and juice in front of Allie and two
sunny side up eggs and milk in front off prim. Katniss eats toast and
juice. They all take showers and they get changed and walk to some food
stalls and shops. They go back to the house and just talk and become
really close. It's now night. Allie wants to tell them about Everlost,
even though they probably won't believe her. Allie waited for a good
time to break the news. There is a long pause and then laughter.
"HAHAHA!"
Allie laughs too and says "I'm serious though!"
"Sure." says Prim. Katniss and Prim still laughing.
Allie just gives up realizing no one would ever in a million years
believe her. They eat again and go to bed. A year later Allie is
basically living there and considered Katniss and Prim her sisters. She
loved it there. Allie still wonders about her parents who she hasn't
seen since the car accident before any of this happened. She also
wonders about Nick, if he is ok, and if he will ever find her. But thats
too much to think about all the time. Instead Allie faces the reality
shes living in right now and accepts herself and new home. Allie has a
new life to live.
The End
1. I liked this story. Now that i've read it, it kind of makes me wonder what Everlost and Catching Fire are like. Your story is very visual and I liked how you described everything very well. This story made me think about Everlost. I wonder how it feels being half dead and all.
ReplyDelete2. I think you described the forest the best. "The green vibrant trees with the sunlight reflecting off the moist leaves. The smell of woods and birds chirping." I think you made it very visual and descriptive.
3. The conversations between the two characters seemed authentic and real. The conversations flowed nicely and seemed like a legit, real-life conversation that I could've had with someone.
4. Some of your sentences were missing words that made the sentence seem a little off. Next time you could try re-reading it and fix the little errors like that.
grasias maritza!
Deletemy first reaction to the story was that it is different but very interesting at the same time, the story made me think about what it would be like to be half dead. the best description was that how you made things seem life like, so how she could not touch some things and be able to sleep. it seemed very real because of how descriptive everything was, but you could have made it so you could tell how they said it like if they were happy or sad when they said it. you could have fixed it by reading it over a little bit, but other then that it was good.
ReplyDeleteGrasias son!
Delete1. I really liked your story and thought it was very interesting. It was really detailed and helped so that I could imagine what was happening. The story made me think about how it would be like to be half dead. I could imagine what was happening the story because i say the Hunger Games movie.
Delete2. "The green vibrant trees with the sunlight reflecting off the moist leaves. The smell of woods and birds chirping" I thought this line really described the setting of the woods really well.
3. The dialogue between Katniss and Allie was realistic. And seemed like it would be an actual conversation in real life.
4. I think your essay was great just some grammar mistakes, but whatever it was really good :)
1. I really enjoyed your story renne is was very interesting. It was very detailed it I could imagine it happening in my head while I was reading it. It was a very good told story great job!
ReplyDelete2. I don't know why but I like when you wrote "her head was filled with exhasution and concern" it just sounded so cool!
3. The conversation between allie and katniss was really easy to understand and it seemed realalistic!
4. What I think you could do to fix it up a little more is you can re read your story and fix any puncuatation or grammer etc.